Augh, Good Grief

I am concerned!

About my cats anyways.

Doe and I might be thinking of running away to her parents basement for the time being until Ryan, Lane and whoever else is in for moving out, can move out.

Like I've told some, my mother is still ignoring us for some reason. When we got home last night I heard her talking on the phone in her room. She sounded fine I suppose. I figured she was talking to my sister or maybe my white grand mother, I guess maybe even Duc. I didn't hear what she was saying as I walked by her room but she sounded normal. I knew she wasn't gossiping or complaining about Doe and I at least I don't think she was. She told me once that she can't complain to them because they don't seem to care. Again, I've said this to some already and I guess a lot of this might have been heard before, but for some reason she seems to treat me the worst. Of course, that's really bold to say that and a little dramatic. She puts up with a lot of crap from my brother and sister though and they don't ever seem to get her quite as mad as I make her.

My brother is constantly spending hundreds of dollars on his car putting a lot of his expenses on my mother credit card. He pays her back of course but she complains to me about how he's crazy and just spends too much money. But I guess he's making a lot of money now at his new job, I believe almost as much as my mother.

My sister can get really cold to my mother as well as really demanding, wether it be for rides, sometimes materials for whatever she's doing and my sister ignores her sometimes when she's preoccupied on the computer or watching tv. My sister also did less to help out. My sister never had to do dishes or had to vacuum around the house, my mother just never asked her. I might sound bitter towards this but I'm really not. It just goes back to my mom and how she for some reason expects so much from me in terms of chores. I just want to vacuum my room when it needs vacuuming or clean up my dishes when I use them. I don't want to take of a whole house when I'm only using 25% of it. I sound selfish and sort of lazy, but I pay for whatever my mother askes me to pay for. I give her 80% of basically every pay check.

I can get neglagant towards my mother as well sometimes. Usually when I'm playing a video game, which is no excuse. My mother is rather patient most of the time. But she can have radical mood swings.

Maybe she treats me the same as Stacey and Duc. I've been told I'm too sensitive many times and I'm sure I am, which is obviously a bad thing. My brother and sister and usually pretty passive when my mom gets mad I guess. They either ignore her or in my brother's case just gives her some back talk and she doesn't seem to do anything about it.

I almost forgot what started this post, my cats.

I feel bad for them. If say Doe and I do relocate to her parents house we'd get this room in her basement for ourselves. But our cats will have to stay in this one room because their are other cats who live in the house and one of them isn't very friendly when it comes to other cats. This room is a lot larger then the bathroom Noa and Konrad had to be kept in, but I still like letting my cats roam. Especially Bradley who I feel likes his time alone away from the other two.

Also, as much as my mother can be a bitch, I don't want her to be completely alone and I would like to leave Bradley at home because my mom loves him. But I hate thinking about Bradley not having two little buddies to hang out with. I don't want any of my cats to be separated but to not be an asshole I think I'll have to, but then I think I'm being an asshole to Bradley. This is my crazy cat lady speaking I believe too. Since any 'normal' person wouldn't be nearly as concerned with a cats feelings as I am. Not even Doe is as concerned about them as I am. Which isn't saying she doesn't care about them, I just care about them too much. I'm not sure why. Either way, it's going to be rough with whatever happens. It looks like I might have to leave Bradley with her because thinking of my mom on her couch watching tv on a saturday afternoon with absolutely no one in the entire house makes me feel really bad.