Well, I'm pretty upset right now.

My mother is in one of her crazy moods where she doesn't speak to you and when she does shes just annoyed and spewing hateful things. Much of the things she says are most likely repressed feelings she has that she for some reason doesn't bother to say when she is in a better mood. For instance, she just told me it would be nice if someone vacuumed the house once in a while. That's fine, I don't give a shit. I'll vacuum whatever. But she doesn't say any of these things until she's pissed off. But then maybe that's what it takes for me to get up and do something.

So my mom is running around the house making loud noises whatever way she can, Doe is in the bathroom cutting Saman's hair. Originally, Doe was in the kitchen cutting her hair until my mom approached me in my room and asked "So Tom, what's for dinner?" I respond "I don't know, why?". I'd like to point out there was no hostility up until this point, my mother says "Well, I don't have my kitchen so I can't have dinner" or something stupid like that. First I thought why the fuck are you so immature and can't just ask Doe "Can you cut her hair in the bathroom so I can make myself dinner" it's just so annoying. She then throws one of our food boxes out into the hallway and says across the main hall "Take this down stairs please" at this point I'm boiling with annoyed rage so I walk aggressively down the hall, grab the box as hard as I can and basically jump down the stairs and bring the stupid box into the basment while my mother yells "Well if you don't want to live her you don't have to"

I think to myself, "You're a fucking bitch. I never said anything about moving. I want to move out but I can't afford to go anywhere else." I don't know what the hell my mother wants. Sometimes it seems like she'll die from loneliness if Doe and I move out, other times I feel like we're the burden of her life.

Basically I want to move out, I want to take all the cats so she'll be alone. She never has a obvious reason for being such a stupid bitch. She never talks about why she mad at us and then she gets mad at us and expects us to know what's wrong. She's fucking crazy. She doesn't even get mad at legitimate things, she gets mad over the smallest things. She'll see I left a spoon on the sink or something, but she doesn't see the spoon and instantly tells me "Hey, please put the spoon in the dishwasher next time." she just stores that memory away. This incident never happened but I'm sure something more ridiculous has happened where she's going to blow up at me.

Sometimes she complains about us using too much water, or not using the electricity efficiently. Why the fuck does she care? I pay the water and the electricity bills. I wish I could move out so badly so I didn't have to deal with this shit. I wish I could kill someone so my mom could see how crazy I'm going. I want to destroy this house and make my mother scared of me so she'll never talk to me. I'm so fucking pissed and upset right now I want to do something terrible to someone.

I can't handle it. I just need to move out.