Nightmare

I had another pretty frightening dream.

This one was more realistic which I guess makes it scarier. Basically in my dream China had declared War on the US. Throughout the dream I somehow knew this was case, but I guess no one else knew.

I distinctly remember the dream starting where I was in some place that wasn't home. My mother called and told me she needed to go to China because her mother was sick and needed to be taken care of and she was going to take my sister with her. I guess I shrugged it off as it wasn't a big deal to me. I realized moments later China had declared war on the U.S.A. and my mother and sister had been taken by government officials and sent to an internment camp for the duration of the war. I realized my main concern was not being captured by my own country and that came first over finding where my mother and sister were.

So for some reason I ran through the streets to get back home. I'm not sure where my car was and I was actually running to my old house for some reason. As I ran through the streets I encountered two black people who were overtly offering shelter and protection for any Asian-Americans. I jogged by and denied their help because they charged $100 dollars a night and I simply did not have the money. In my dream their shelter was right on the grassy part of the bend in the road right in front of the North Intermediate. I continued down the road and as I jogged across the bridge that overlooked the highway, Law Enforcement vehicles raced by pulling over cars that apparently Asians. I remember my hair being my main form of defense. The reason being it was so long that it hung over my eyes and I hid behind my hair so people wouldn't realize I was Asian. I'm not sure how or why in my dream it worked.

Next I got to the industrial part area right before I get to my old house and I remember cutting through a couple buildings. These buildings were dark and TVs were on playing CNN or some other kind of news broadcast. I remember walking through rooms with papers and tables all over the place. On the TV there were political debates about how the Asian people were being put in internment camps. I heard one debater say something alone the lines "We invite them into our country and we show them how much we trust them by throwing them in prisons." I ran into that building twice as I remember.

From here I can't remember much else, I think it's because I woke up. Have you ever been sort of conscious but still sleeping and you're thinking "was that real?" Well, I was in this limbo for quite sometime I felt. At one point I was relieved to know it was just a dream but then I felt really scared it was real.

I wish I knew what spawned this dream and what somethings mean!
But I who doesn't wish they knew all these answers.

The Weekend

If I was any more tired then I am right now, I'd be sleeping.

Well unfortunately, I went to bed late again last night and tried to wake up at 8. Even though I set my alarm to 8, I'll always wake up at 9 or 9:30. It's been a rough morning every morning getting up for work!

While I did have a good fun weekend with my friends, I missed Doe and I'd rather her be here with me and my friends having fun with us instead of in a Foreign place with a family who isn't showing her a good time.

I'm going to work my way backwards.

Sunday:
Yesterday, we cooked breakfast at Ryan's house at 2:30pm. By we, I mean Ryan and Natty. Mostly Ryan. It was a really good breakfast too, there were hash browns, scrambled eggs, pancakes and delicious biscuits & gravy. It was all good and a good time. I believe the initial group was myself, Mark, Ryan, Natty and CP. Lane came over shortly after during the middle of breakfast being made, and Jim came over while breakfast was beginning. Jim brought really good muffins that I think were banana and nut, which is weird because I don't really like banana's or nuts. But his smelled like candy. Quite good!

This may not be funny to anyone else, perhaps it was a you had to be there moment, but towards the end of the breakfast CP was coming out of the kitchen with a bowl of cereal the rest of us were on the outside deck. CP was having a bit of trouble with opening the door and not letting the cats out of the house, so he decided to stay inside and just pet the cat for a little while. Before he knew it Ryan's other cat had come to the door expecting to get out and CP said in distress "Now there's two of them!" Mark hopped from his seat to help CP out by opening the door and forcing the cats back while CP would exit. Unfortunately and hilariously, while mark was hunched over pushing cats back, he wasn't aware how close CP's cereal bowl was to his head. So Mark essentially head butted CP's bowl forcing it to get pushed towards CP spilling Golden Grahams and sugar milk all over CP's shorts and all over one of the cats. Everyone on the deck burst out laughing, even I'm laughing to myself thinking about it.

After that we all went home. On our drive back down McDonald Rd, we stumbled upon an old wooden media center. It was in good shape and sitting on the side of the road so we grabbed it. We put it into the movie room and it's a nice nice touch.

The rest of the night was filled with naps and random video games. I went home at 1:00 and got to bed at 2:30 :\ Doe better come home before I develop insomnia.

Saturday:
Saturday morning began with me on a basement couch. I believe I woke up rather late since I remember going to bed around 5:30 or 6 on that Friday. I for some reason can't remember the details of this morning, but the highlight was going to Hannafords with Jim, Mark, Natty, Ryan and myself. It was a food adventure since I've never really been there before. Hannafords is a large super market with a mixture of Lowell Asians/Blacks and some yuppie white people. Our group was reminded by our own actions that we did not belong in such a market, HA. Jim and I gathered supplies for a stir fry that Jim was going to prepare. Jim emphasized how erratic his stir fries came out, sometimes being good or bad, but I wasn't worried at all. Stir fry details on their way. I mainly searched this super market for chap stick for my always chapped lips. (They're chapped even as I type this, why? I'm not sure. I thought chapped lips were to signify me being dehydrated but I drink so much water!). After dicking around the market for a while, we all got our things and left. We got to Ryan's to prepare the food. During the food preparation Jim yo-yo'd his yo-yo into the pots and pans that had boiling water and frying tofu. Nothing happened, but it was really funny. Maybe another you had to be there moment. After dinner I believe we just went back to the basement for another late night of games and silly discussions.

Friday:
This Friday is even more of a blur then Saturday. I know I woke up, I know I went to work, and I know I took a shower. That could possibly the end of that.

First time I slept at the Basement on the weekends like I used to. It was different this time, I missed Doe and the cats (ha) when I wasn't really thinking about anything else. I'm sure I'm already some level of crazy cat lady with the amount of time I spend thinking about the cats and thinking about how I should see them because I think they miss me. That's crazy, but I do wish I knew what my cats thought of me.

My sister and Emily both set off to their respective colleges yesterday. I know they're not gone forever, not at all. But I guess it is weird. Even though Stacey and I don't talk too often, she was always right there at home when I got there. I'm mainly worried for my mother who is now going to be completely alone when Doe and I aren't home. I know she has the cats for company, but that sort of thing changes women into crazy cat ladies. Since my mother doesn't really tell me how she's feeling I can only assume she feels sad Stacey is gone from the house for a while, since Stacey is the baby. I'm not sure if my mom now wants me and Doe to move out or stay since we're the only thing keeping my mom from being completely alone in the house. I'd like to leave though, just because I don't want to live in my parents house for much longer because of some adult-complex I have where I feel like I need to move out of my home so I can feel older.

Emily is gone too! I'm hoping she doesn't forget about us like I feel she might, ha. The Basement doesn't fit Emily too well but she still came back to hang out and talk to us. The same saying could go for a lot of other Basement goers I think but I don't think I feel like going into it.

Well I guess this will be the end of my blog. I'm a little less tired, but not by much.

Time for real work.

Oh, almost forgot about my fucked up dream.
In summary:
I was walking out of the Woburn Mall at night, but it was my own little version of the Woburn Mall. I had purchased a high hat for a drum set and I was just bashing it. Some skinny black guy had told me to knock it off so I mockingly laughed at him. After that I was walking in the dark parking lot and I could see him following me, I ran to my car and struggled to get my keys out to get into my car. He caught me before I could get my keys out of my keys. I guess in my dream I acted as if I knew him, giving him a hug and acting surprised he'd be around the area. Either way, he took my wallet. I remember crying because I was mad and sad that some guy took my wallet. It was a racist dream segment.

The next segment involved Ryan watching some movie where this Blonde (& busty, HA) girl was basically being raped by some pale white man who was clearly evil. It was a fucked part of my dream and I was really disturbed I had it. To get into the gory details (don't read past here if you are easily offended) the girl got fucked/raped by this demon man, and I guess we'll say his penis was maleable and able to take different shapes or forms. She got a nose bleed and the demon man started laughing manically. It was well known to me at this point he had made his dick so long that it was somewhere in her head which made the nose bleed make sense. Then suddenly a steel point popped out of the back of her head. The next scene of the movie was her cut in half and the inside of her body was all white. I asked Ryan, "why is her insides white?", Ryan smirked and said you know why. (It was ejaculation). She was still alive though for some reason, even after having her head penetrated from the inside out, her body cut open vertically and her body cut in half at the waist. By the way, the rapist monster was like Pinhead, except without the pins.
I believe this rape segment was spawned by Ryan showing me an ACTUAL movie called BIG BAD WOLF, where a Were-wolf rapes a girl on a bed doggy style. The image was burned into my head and I was definitely disturbed. I may joke about rape, but I shouldn't because of how much I hate it. It gets laughs haha.

The end of my dream was pretty boring. It took place in an Aztec-type, underground maze that was filled with puzzles and other things. I was with two others who I'm sure were fictional. It was boring compared to my other dream segments.

Quickie

Just a little update:

• I got a new phone (it's awesome and I'm materialistic)
• Doe got herself a blogspot, read here http://doereime.blogspot.com/
• Doe went to Florida :[
  
• Southern Travelers are returning to the North!
• Polysics are still sick

Peace.

Tonight at 11

Current Events Rants

Joyce McKinney a 58 year old, dog-cloning, burglary planning, fugitive from Nashville, Tennessee.

So I guess this woman cloned her beloved dog five times, creating five pups. Before that in 2004, she instructed a 15-year-old to break into some home because she wanted money to "get a false leg for her beloved horse". I don't know if that last one is stated correctly. Either way, I feel sort of bad for this woman I guess. I imagine she missed her dog so much she had it cloned five times. I never really knew what pet owners went through when their animals went lost or died. For instance, when Lane's cat went missing (the black one, not the white one) in high school. I remember him telling me that his cat was just never came home, I remember I was a little bit concerned for the well being of the cat but I guess I did feel sort of detached and I really think about it much. Same goes for when Ryan's cat Patches died. I knew patches well and I liked her a lot because she liked me, and according to Ryan she wasn't too friendly to most people at least when I first met her. But when Patches died, I sadly didn't think to much about it again. I feel bad I made some really insensitive jokes about her death, jokes I'd probably get mad or upset about if it were my cats. Which shows what kind of person Ryan is actually, since he didn't really outwardly get mad or sad about it towards me. A good kind of person is what I'm trying to get at. But now owning three cats of my own and after losing Bradley, the oldest cat, for a month to some other home I was insanely depressed and all I thought about was Bradley being gone. As stupid as it is I get a little work up about it even now thinking about it. Either way we did get him back. The point being, I can't better to relate to someone losing a pet better then I could a year ago and because of that I feel bad for this insane woman who missed her dog so much she wanted to bring him back in the form of five puppies. In my opinion, I wouldn't want to have Bradley's clone. They wouldn't be Bradley I feel. They'd basically just be his kids.


Big Foot Hoax

Two Georgian men apparently discovered the bloodied remains of Bigfoot in the woods this past weekend. Obviously, at this point in time they have discovered it to be a hoax. What a terrible hoax at that. It's completely ignorant for news stations to be running this through their top stories based off of a couple pictures that two rednecks sent them. The pictures are very low quality as if they were taken on a cell phone which makes them hard to believe. Why wouldn't anyone ask "Hey, if you have the corpse on hand why not take the time to find a decent camera and take decent pictures of this animal." But there is something about this subject that people go crazy over so obviously no one of importance asked this question and just let Bigfoot mania run through our media and get everyone worked up about it. Either way, the two guys who claimed to have found the Bigfoot corpse came out with a video where they laugh at people who believed them and they are weirdly arrogant about the whole situation. Going into conspiracy theories, I believe if their Bigfoot findings were real, the Government took action to conceal Bigfoot's existence and made the rednecks admit that their claims were just a 'hoax'. We'll never know!

Russia vs Georgia

I saw a headline in an article that Russia is beginning their withdrawal from Georgia today. I read that headline on Saturday, apparently 'officials' in Georgia don't see any sign of Russian pulling any of their forces back. I'm not sure what the conflict is specifically. I've heard and read a little about it being about separatist of Russia and Russia does not want to let them leave. So I suppose killing them would be the alternative. It seems like its debatable who is the victim in this situation. I've read that Georgia murdered Russian peace keepers which is why Russia moved in in the first place. It's hard to tell what is going to come of this little war. The US hasn't chosen and sides, but I guess Georgia is the 3rd largest contributing military force in Iraq and Afghanistan behind the US and Britain. If their war with Russia continues they'll withdraw all their forces from our silly conflict as well. It seems inevitable Georgia is going to be obliterated, that or it's a possible World War III. If we side with Russia Georgia loses and I feel like there may be some chaos in the Middle East. If we side with Georgia, well there's the Russian army and all their military secrets to deal with.

I guess that's my two cents. I feel I had more to say, but I can always post again.

I liked this:
http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2008/08/12

All Awesome!

Good mood today.

Doe graduated 'with high honors' (that's what I'm calling it) and she made a little speech to the 'freshman' of her school and she was just really happy! I really enjoyed how it seemed everyone there got along with her and how she's always just really personable.

Last night many people saw Tropic Thunder. 4.5 stars in my eyes. Then we went to Burger King afterwards and got some unhealthy meals. It was just a fun time. Lots of new faces who I'm not sure I'll see much more often, but we'll see how things go.

Anyways, that was an extremely vague description of my yesterday. What I'm posting mainly for is this terrific band that gets me happy.

Peace.

Changes:

I'm not exactly sure what my mood would be. The song Selfish Jean would sum it up pretty well I guess. Not really the lyrics but the general feeling you get when you hear the song.

As for the changes. Doe is finished with school tomorrow, her graduation is in the afternoon and I get to hear her speak in front of the newer students. I've always admired her ability to just talk with people, she has that charisma that isn't all that common. I'm not sure which of my friends are going to come with me to see her graduate. Right now it's just looking like it's Jimca. I gave short notice and I didn't really want more then three people coming anyways because I didn't want to have to deal with multiple cars having to follow me through the busy, streets of Lowell during the middle of the day.

Doe is also going to Florida next Wednesday for a week with a pretty odd family. I don't mean any disrespect when I say odd, but it isn't your normal family. The family consists of two halves of a family really. I just realized I'm not going to get into it as it may be indeed be disrespectful.

On to other things. I've been watching the Olympics lately and it's inspiring I guess. The fact that there are people who go and compete on an international level and that they can actually claim to be the best in the world is amazing.

More specifically I'd like to be ripped like some of the athletes. Not necessarily as big or strong as them, ha, but just as defined. I guess it's vain and sort of a selfish goal. I would indeed like to be stronger, but to be as strong as an Olympian seems sort of unrealistic for me.

Another short, weak post. But I don't really care.

Trying something different next time.

p.s. congratulations doe
happy birthday mac

Scrubbing pans & tattoos

Getting down to it, Doe and myself went to make grilled cheese sandwiches just tonight. For some reason we burned the first one and the second one that I made myself just turned out to be soggy and falling apart every way you could imagine. I told Doe I'd take care of the dishes and I did.

For an hour and a half I scrubbed two bread sized burns off of a pan. I didn't know it took that long and I didn't really mind. I thought about a lot while I scrubbed those dishes. I thought about telling my kids to do dishes and how it would make them better people. But I don't know if that's true at all. My parents never made me do dishes like I did tonight. It was strangely satisfying scrubbing this pan clean, although I fear I scrubbed too hard in some areas because I could see clear differences in the pans surface when i held it to the light. I got most of it off though, and I didn't think I was going to.


Random Thought
I recently discovered that one of my kittens, Noah is actually Noa (the kitten in my profile picture). The one letter difference meaning that he is actually a she. I realized when Conrad, the other kitten was laying on his back pleading for a belly rub. I saw Conrad had a pair of male junk. Unintentionally, I noticed Noa did not. I let this thought slip away from the top of priority list and went on my day. Later that night, after dinner, lifting and picking up Doe, I asked Doe if Noa had any balls. She picked her up and checked it out and was a bit shocked/excited.

We just assumed Noa was a boy because the family we adopted them from said she was. And I don't go checking the status of my cats junk so it took about three months for us to realize.

Tattoos
I've been thinking a lot about getting a tattoo. Well I guess I've been thinking about it for the past 6 years of my life. I'm too unsure about everything so it's taken this long to decide. But don't be fooled, I'm not fully decided. Either way, the main theme of my skin art will most likely be Asian. I'm thinking about half or quarter sleeves on each arm. I've always been really fond of a full arm of tattoos. I want my tattoos to mean something and I don't want that meaning to fade away after 20 years leaving regret and bad memories on my skin. Although 20 years from now I'm sure they'll be safe and easy ways of removing skin. Or just the tattoos.

My idea for my potential tattoos lies heavily on my Chinese heritage. I'm thinking about getting the dragon and the tiger (ying and yang) on each of my forearms, probably on the area closer to my inner elbow. I've always loved the asian art style and I guess I'd like to represent that.


Ideally I want to take inspiration from these styles and make them into my own drawings. I'm not sure if I have the ability to draw a great tiger or dragon, but I'm going to try. Don't worry though, I'm not going to put embarrassingly bad artwork onto my body.

I guess it's 1:30am and I should be in bed. Sleeping.

Until the next time I decide to write.