Friday, January 30, 2009

TELL ME WHEN IT'S OVER

This week has been pretty hectic at work and even after work.

Nothing that really has to do with my mother. Although in the beginning of the week my uncle called and wants to talk to me about my marriage and about this whole mother issue. I don't really feel like it. I've been trying to finish my application to Jetblue but have for some reason been really slow to do it.

I'm wonder if I should even leave my job and work at JB? Would it be wise? Would I be happier? Maybe. I think I'd make more money, but I think my time seeing Doe would be cut down dramatically, especially if I try to work 60-65 hours a week. But when I think about it, I know I can do it. Especially if I have to do it. I need money.

Money has been a huge stresser these last couple weeks. I just keep thinking about it and how much I want it. I wouldn't say I'm greedy, I'd say I just want to live comfortably. Comfortably as in, not worry about anything. After writing that I feel like it doesn't make sense.

So it's almost been a full week living at Doe's parent's house and it's been alright. I still feel sort of out of place. I'm not sure how Doe willingly moved into my house when she did. She's just a different person than I am.

I don't mean any disrespect to Doe's parents or even Doe, but I can't wait to be out of their house in hopefully in a house of friends. It's not a bad situation at Doe's house but like I said I feel out of place and uncomfortable.

I find it really hard to talk in her house. Doe's father doesn't really seem to hear people I've come to notice. Sure, he'll ask me questions but I find he'll interrupt me as I'm trying to answer his question. Or if I try to explain something, he starts talking over me to tell me he understands. I'm not offended though, it just seems like something he does and I don't think it's intentional. I just find it odd.

If I have to stay in during the evening at Doe's house I do start to text people more than usual. I just like feeling connected to the outside world! I don't have many people I text really though. It's usually Ryan I text because I know I'm not bothering him.

I have to get my bed frame this Sunday from my mother's house and I'm not at all looking forward to it. I have no idea how she's going to act or if she's going to talk to me. Ehhh, oh well.

I need to get back to work.

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